Does This Shtick Seem Funky To You?

Often I find myself brandishing my fists in the air, directing them to the 90 percent, or so, of people who live on this earth out of severe, sometimes almost debilitating frustration. In this percentage I include those who I have had a problem with, had words with or decided I hated based on principle, or plan on taking issue with because they look stupid or I just feel like it; this should come at no surprise to the 4 people who actually read this blog, [actually I’m impressed at how quickly my readership came back and I would like to take this moment to thank you for the emails] but it seems as though I’m not the only one ruing a majority of the earth’s inhabitants. And by majority I mean “major,” as in great in number, size, or extent, and “ity” as in I bet they all have an “ity” one, because my dear readers, I’m referring to men. (I also like this definition of majority: requiring great attention or concern; very serious, because I do feel this is getting serious and should, at the very least, cause some of us to take a step back and reconsider giving out our digits the next time some guy goes fishing out on the dance floor and catches us, hook, line and sinker -- only the ultra cool will actually be imagining the dance move whereby one is caught by miming the act of fishing).

Four (and counting) girls at work have either called off an engagement, called off the potentiality of an engagement or moved out and away from the men in their lives. This is not a big company (and by company I mean the people I work directly with; my little subsection of the bigger giant) and these are all women of vastly different ages and all in very different stages in their respective relationships who have all chosen to cease-and-desist carrying their man-baggage.

Add that to my recent boy trauma and I believe the National Guard will soon be called to the PNW. Something may have leaked into our water supply. Or, possibly, a rare but singularly focused insect has emerged from the mating of two unlikely species that only bites women who are days from divorcing themselves from unhappiness and infects only those who are on the fence, spreading the man-dropping virus similarly to malaria, or Parvo.

Comments

[Paul]

It's good to see you're growing back that thick layer of loathing. I'm guessing a night of drinks and you'll be right back to the D I know and love.